sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
