How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
40s are totally the cure
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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