no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Panties = found
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