Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
