i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
