its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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