I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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