Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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