if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
