I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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