How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
