I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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