just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
