i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
