yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
