OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
