Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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