Don't you send me to vm
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Use "feeling words"
Yay
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
