new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
