Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
