Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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