As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how drunk are you?
Several
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
