I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize