The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
