dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
