I wish I could teleport
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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