My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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