Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
God, I missed his penis.
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