Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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