just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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