Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I could make wine with my vomit
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
