I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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