i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
