btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
