maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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