so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
