Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
