If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
