distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
