I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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