why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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