Me. At least after what I've been through.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
