Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
