Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
