i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
