I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
