Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
