nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
