Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize