Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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