Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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