i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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