i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
