She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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