I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
