My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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