had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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