is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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