Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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